broken car

Feb. 3rd, 2017 09:04 pm
ameliar: (Default)
[personal profile] ameliar
the car is broken. I am so anxious for no reason!!!! I go to the shop in the morning.

they do their job.
I hand them a plastic card.
i drive home happy.

there is zero reason for me to be having some sort of panic attack. I am fine. I am totally fine. What could I be worried about? it will be too expensive? well yes... But chances are that it won't be more than 500 dollars... so get over it Amelia. you aren't going to break the bank. what if they need the car on Monday because they cant fix it tomorrow? ummmmyou brought your laptop home with you sooooo work from home stupid... but what if it so expensive I can't afford to take my business trip.... talk to your boss and have the trip charged directly to the company card... she already told you that this is an option.... but what if we need to buy a new car? you can do it. call dad and he'll walk you through how to do it. call conor and he'll walk you through... heck he'll probably drive you to a place. and... you just googled it YES, you can trade in a broken car. so really there is nothing to worry about. NOTHING. stop worrying that something like this will ruin your life.

I HATE CAR PROBLEMS... we have had car trouble just about every single month of the entire year. 2016 and 2017... I am sick of it. totally sick of it.

Sam says I need to face my anxiety and just write about it rather than trying to ignore the problem or forget about it through escapism like tv or yoga.

I just want to scream at my 17 year old car and say "LISTEN YOU... I HATE THAT YOURE BROKEN ALL THE TIME!!!!!"

oh my gosh... 17 years... we should just get a new car. but we have no money and paying money every month sounds like hell.

i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this.

I want to move to the city where no one has cars and no one has car problems because they dont have cars... I can just take the metro everywhere. walk. taxi. bus. whatever. probably save the environment. I hate driving 45 minutes to get to work every day. I hate it.

I hate having a car that I can't trust. I hate not being able to trust something. I've trusted a lot of things my whole life. I am like the queen of trust... and then this... I feel like I've reached my last straw. maybe this years tax refund should buy a car. like seriously... I'm so sick of this.


ameliar: (Default)

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